Some ways to improve nature : Bigger leaves More water in more places Different shapes for trees (not just vertical) Friendly animals More colors for leaves in summer Snow in summer More readily available food from trees Not so hot Not so cold More interesting animals all over the place No earthquakes Easier to remember star constellations
I've been seeing a surprising number of Aztecs lately. The car, not the Indian.
My top five US presidents : FDR Lincoln Johnny Carson Santa Claus Gerald Ford (Shot at twice and lived.)
What's your favorite traffic regulation? I think mine is the one where you're not supposed to cross lanes at an intersection.
Is there a 'shake well before using' product that you prefer over other 'shake well before using' products?
How incredulous were you when you first heard that fog was just low lying clouds?
Burn some incense in your cubicle today.
Random notes/useless writing. "I don’t think I’ve ever seen an escalator inside a private home. But that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be a good idea."
Here's a Christmas shopping tip: When you decide upon a gift item and take it to the cash register always tell the cashier, " Hello, I would like to purchase this item from your establishment." This will help to avoid any confusion.
Things to do when you reach enlightenment: Go tell a bunch of people. Have someone paint your picture. Change your name to something catchy. When people talk to you, rub your hands together and stare off into space. When people ask you a question, reply with a question. Get a massage.
Try to walk as slowly as possible into a motion detecting light bathroom so the light doesn't come on. Or sit quietly on the toilet for so long the light turns off.
Here are a couple of song fragments I've been wanting to record : Song one : Take a penny to a railroad track, wait an hour and then you come back, you'll have a gift for a little child. Song two : I'm the lonely man at the Redbox, cradling a box of wine, what movies will I watch tonight, Star Wars or Full Metal Jacket?
If I were a wealthy inventor I would invent a kind of 'home pizza delivery system.' You would use some method to order a pizza and it would then be delivered to your house in some manner already cooked. You could even choose sizes and toppings. I think people would go crazy for that.
I was once a vocal critic of motion detecting paper towel dispensers. I felt as though they did not dispense enough towel for me to dry my relatively large hands, I can palm a basketball. But now that I've learned to appreciate not having to touch the towel dispenser, my feelings about the technology have grown less severe. # learning more about life everyday
Remember when you first heard breakfast was the most important meal of the day and you thought 'yeah right'?
I was thinking that it might be interesting to put the number 0 after 9 in the number system for a year just to mix things up a bit and see what would happen.
I thought about leaving my book-bag in a public space while I visit the men's room. And that I'd ask another citizen to watch my bag while I'm gone. Is it wrong to ask if I can take their photograph with my phone in case the bag is stolen and they are gone when I return? Or would that be considered rude?
What's your favorite coin? I think mine is probably a dime. Maybe a nickel though.
To let people know that a gas pump is not working all you have to do is put a plastic bag over it. Does this make good design sense?
Missing: Slightly worn black leather fanny pack; contains disposable camera, Diners Club card and medication. Reward offered.
Pick up lines: You look like you'd be good at spelling.
I had a waitress once ask me , "Do you want pink lemonade with your dinner!?" I was a grown man at the time. But I was having dinner at TGI Friday.