Please help ban questionable products

Please pass this letter on to your government representatives!

Dear Senator,
I was recently shopping at a local retail outlet when I came across a product for sale that gave me pause. Frankly, I was shocked to see this product for sale at our local shopping mall, a mall frequented by Americans of many ages and ethnic backgrounds. The product I am writing to you about is called ‘Fart Powder’.

I have never bought, used or seen ‘Fart Powder’ in use but it is my understanding that the intended use of this product begins by one individual surreptitiously adding the powder to the food or drink of another. After a period of time the person digesting the powder has a gastronomical reaction, farting, the result of which is intended to be humorous to the person or persons stealthy adding the ‘Fart Powder’ to the food or beverage of the intended recipient.

The retail workers where I was shopping, even the manager, were unaware of the ingredients of ‘Fart Powder’ or how it actually caused the gastronomical reaction to occur. They also seemed quite dismissive of my concerns about the product. I will tell you what I told them: This product shows a total disregarded for the health and safety of others and also encourages and teaches people how to poison each other. It actually teaches us that poisoning friends and family is somehow funny.

I hope that you will have more of an understanding than the people at the establishment called ‘Spencer’s Gifts’. And I also hope that you can appreciate my desire not to live in a country that disregards the health of others and also promotes freely available poisoning products. It is for these reasons that I intend to start a non-profit organization to ban the sale of ‘Fart Powder’. I know the economy is bad and that ‘Fart Powder’ factory workers may lose their jobs, but I think that health and safety and promoting a non-poisoning community is more important.

Thank you,

Matt Ames

Smartwear Irving Saks

Here is a set of photos I took in the old Smartwear Irving Saks place at Crossroads Mall in Roanoke, VA.  It would appear that little has changed inside the shop since the mid 80s.