VA Heights Redux
Occasionally when my buddy Pat Greene and I talk we’ll discuss filming a little movie about VA Heights, a neighborhood in Orlando, Florida where we were neighbors. Recently we spoke about the film idea and later that day I stumbled upon some notes I’d taken when I lived in Virginia Heights. Here are a few of them and some images:
Ideas: Weather is always beautiful, French speaking, calisthenics, Philosophy INC, Mr. Ho, itinerary, political/spiritual and philosophical, cat as mascot, ‘we the people’, successful neighborhood watch, giant sloth from Pangaea, historical dramatization, crime, conspiracy, UFOs, old piano man works on plays, neighborhood gossip, businesses ruin neighborhood, sister city, mowing lawn and waving, trains, lake, Lee, Louise, Theosophy, Chief, Alex, Gordon, Wills, Attapulgus, Allen, Jerrod, Hide Away, Henry’s, protest, folk museum, Sue, cat lady, Angel Store, Sean, Lisa, My Brother’s Keeper, Trans Photo, 7-11, society and conduct, dos and don’ts, transport, magazines, electricity, time (eastern standard), laundry, health issues, gay and lesbian, disabled, seniors, dangers and annoyances, holidays, accommodations, emergencies, entertainment.
Corny song:
“Virginia Heights….we’re reaching new heights.
On the wings of a golden egret
And a chariot full of friendliness”
Sights:
Attapulgus
Satellite
Va Heights (Polaroid)
Virginia Heights Gazette (Click for larger image)
Here’s a Flickr photo set with more images from Virginia Heights.
Notes on television
Things to do to make your television show successful.
1. Interview people with an interesting background.
2. Pause to bring an idea to attention. As in “Well, the key to this is……..investments.”
3. Have men sitting around in chairs talking about something.
4. Keep everything clean.
5. Have daughters teach their mothers something about men.
6. Have people hitting each other.
7. Pretend that you care about something.
8. Have people cry a lot.
Script for: How to be Polite
How to be Polite
How not to be polite: Act 1
POP: Excuse do you have the time?
Matt: What?
POP: Do you have the time?
Matt: That’s a weird accent. Where you from?
POP: Africa
Matt: Never heard of it.
POP: Do you have the time?
Matt: Yeah I guess…11am.
POP: Thank you
Matt: Whatever.
How to be polite: Act 2
POP: Excuse me, do you have the time?
Matt: Certainly. It is 11am. And would I be correct in assuming that your accent is Malawian?
POP: That is correct. I am from Malawi.
Matt: I have a keen interest in Malawian history.
POP: Yes, it’s true. My country has a very interesting history. Thank you for the time.
Matt: No problem. I am glad to provide you with the time.
Pop: Thank you
Matt: Thank you
(This continues)
Smartwear Irving Saks
Here is a set of photos I took in the old Smartwear Irving Saks place at Crossroads Mall in Roanoke, VA. It would appear that little has changed inside the shop since the mid 80s.
America needs ice
I like ice. I like it in ice water, coffee, a tasty Margarita, green tea and even the occasional soda. It’s a comforting experience when I encounter the right kind of ice in a restaurant beverage. I guess I’ve always thought of myself as an ice connoisseur, fully capable of ascertaining the quality of ice via my intuition and knowledge of the many types of ice I’ve encountered in my life. It does help that there are so many competing types of ice: The big chunk, never cared for it, tiny barreled ice, little crunchy asteroid-like ice, that’s my favorite. You’ve got smooth, rough, holes thru the axis, honey comb like hotel ice, shattered cubed ice, cloudy ice, clear ice, shaved ice and an assortment of others.
Ice, to me, is one of the hallmarks of our empire. The more of it around, the more powerful and self assured a civilization can feel. If around every corner there’s someone churning out ice to clink in glasses of Coca-Cola or Cosmopolitans, you get the feeling that the world loves you and wants you to relax and quench that parched thirst. In old movies, when people would arrive at their apartments, they’d head straight to the bar for a drink and the first thing they’d do was reach for the ice bucket and a couple of healthy cubes. When you’re slowly shattering that cube between your teeth and pondering the complexities of mass transportation, you know you’ve arrived to a confident, modern experience. America needs ice.
Random thoughts and notes
They always put American flags on the side of buses
There’s old ice cream in an ice box somewhere from a long ago meeting.
I think a big presidential election night might be a good night to commit a crime.
Occasionally when I approach a stranger they will ask me “How are you doing?” I’ll then say something like “I’m good how are you?”
What I find bothersome is sometimes people will answer this by saying “Fantastic!” As if there is some sense of one-ups-man ship involved in asking people how they are doing.
I’ve thought before that I could write for an in-flight magazine.
I have a joke that I tell when I’m on an airline and the plane is taxing to prepare for takeoff. After the plane taxis awhile I’ll say to the person seated next to me, “Does the pilot plan on driving us to our destination!” Usually they’ll laugh. You’re welcome to use that joke.
I think in the future we’ll be able to attach the brain of a dolphin to a computer via a bunch of wires so that scientists can then create a dolphin philosophy of life for people to follow. People would love shit like that.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen an escalator inside a private home. But that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be a good idea.
I was never a fan of Funyuns, that snack product.
Being a stunt man looks like a dangerous job.
In the future we will be able to control matter with our minds. What this means is that if you are watching TV and get a toothache you could think “Dentist” and a dentist would appear right there to help you. Of course the tools he brings would depend on the size of your room.
Have you ever exercised to an exercise video?